God’s Priority for Human Relationships
God; Marriage; Family; Fellow Believers; Unbelievers:
This pyramid of prioritized relationships is offered to facilitate a right Biblical understanding of God’s foreordained perfect order for the practice of Christlike love in every human relationship He has woven into the fabric of every life created in His image — Genesis 1-2
God is a relational God (Father, Son, & Holy Spirit – Genesis 1; Titus 1:1-2 ). Because this is true it inherently follows that man, created by Him in His glorious image, is a relational being also.
Therefore the ability of every Christian to obey this practice of Christ-like love, in God’s prioritized order, as He has commanded, is Sovereignly revealed in four short but glorious verses in the first chapter of Peter’s second letter to the churches of the dispersion — II Peter 1:1-4.
“1Simon Peter, a servant and apostle of Jesus Christ, to them that have obtained a like precious faith with us in the righteousness of our God and the Savior Jesus Christ: 2Grace to you and peace be multiplied in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord; 3seeing that his divine power hath granted unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that called us by his own glory and virtue; 4whereby he hath granted unto us his precious and exceeding great promises; that through these ye may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in this world by lust.” II Peter 1:1-4
One additional truth (Proverbs 30:5-6) to keep in mind as you consider this study is that these four God created and prioritized levels of human relationship are not, in any way, neither directly nor by way of implication, addressing the value, worth, and dignity inherent in every individual life as created by God in His Holy image (Genesis 1:26; Psalm 139). The focus in this study is not on the individual worth of each living being, but on how the command to “…love your neighbor as yourself…” should be manifestly evident in the practical daily living of a Christian at each of these four levels of human relationship.
This pyramid of prioritized relationships is intended to help you as a Christian man or woman better understand how to practically live out the faithful stewardship of obedience to the Biblical command to love others (“…your neighbor as yourself…” love) with that unselfish love of Christ that does nothing out of “selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves….”. This is Paul’s command to the Christians in Philippi in Philippians 2:3+. It is that same love of which he spoke in chapter 4 verse 5. Having called them, in verse 4, to “Rejoice in the Lord always;”, he then commands in verse 5, “Let your gentle spirit be known to all men.” This “gentle spirit” Paul speaks of is that spirit (attitude of mind and will) of Christlike love he described in chapter 2:3+. This love of Christ that every true believer is commanded to humbly, sincerely, joyfully, gratefully, lovingly, faithfully practice each good day of life in His holy kingdom service is indeed that same love our Lord taught and commanded as recorded by Matthew in chapter 22 of his gospel, verses 37-40 — love God first and foremost, in spirit and in truth, with all your heart, your soul, your mind, and your strength — in other words with every fiber and breath of God’s good gift of life entrusted to you — and then your neighbor as yourself. Contrary to the error of many teachers of this passage, Christ is not commanding us to love ourselves and then others. The ever increasing consumption of our culture and the world with the “self esteem/self love” gospel clearly reveals that a lack of self love is not man’s problem. To the contrary, man has no shortage of love for himself as evidenced by his constant focus on self. No, what our Lord commands is that we are to love our fellowman with the same careful attentive diligence to meeting his needs as we do our own needs — food, shelter, clothing, medical assistance, kindness, respect, long-suffering, Christlike patient unselfish sincere love manifested by a joyful, sincere loving, caring heart. To take it yet another step, it is to love with that love of Christ that He commands in Luke 6:27+ — you are to love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you that you might be like your Father in Heaven — indeed, what did God do when He, in the kindness of His Holy loving will, graciously recorded your name in His Lambs Book of Life, but choose to love one who was His enemy and who was hostile toward Him — Romans 8:6-8.
Now, having, to a degree at least, established what it means to love as Christ does, let’s consider how this command is to be practically implemented, priority wise, in the routine of daily living as relates to the above pyramid of God’s righteously prioritized human relationships.
Acknowledging the fact that God’s highest relational priority for every true believer is a diligent, continuous pursuit of knowing Him more intimately each new day (Deuteronomy 11:18-21; Isaiah 55:6-7,8,9-13; 66:1-2; Matthew 6:33-34), consider then the practical application of this first and highest eternal relationship (Psalm 19:7-8,9-11; John 17:3) as relates to every human relationship God has perfectly ordered for our lives.
In this simple chart we find four levels of human relationship that are clearly established in this order in scripture. The first is that of marriage; the second is that of biological family; the third is that of spiritual family; and the fourth is that of human family collectively. Here again, as is so consistently and continuously revealed in Holy scripture when thoughtfully read and studied, the reader can’t help but be brought up short in his or her thinking by the humanly inconceivable ability of God to impart, in so few words, such powerful, all encompassing, eternal, immutable truth (Proverbs 30:5-6; Isaiah 40:8; 42:8; 43:13; 44:6,8; 45:5-7; 46:8-11; 55:8; II Timothy 3:16-17; II Peter 1:17-21). The point? In four clearly delineated relationships God encompassed the whole of the human race for the entire duration of His plan for each individual day of human history (Psalm 118:24; I Timothy 4:4-5) from the first day of creation to that final day described in II Peter 3:3-10. For the remainder of our study we will look briefly at each of these four all-encompassing relationships in the light of God’s Holy word.
The beginning point for our study, based on scripture, is that first human relationship — marriage. Our introduction to this relationship is in Genesis 1 & 2. In His infinite wisdom and goodness God supernaturally took a rib from Adam’s side and created Eve, the first woman and wife of human history — “…male and female He created them. God blessed them;………and it was so. God saw all that He had made, and behold, it was very good. And there was evening and morning, the sixth day.” Genesis 1:27b,28,31. Here God created the first and most important of the four relationships in our chart. Three aspects of this first relationship set it apart from all others as the most important thus establishing it as the most intimate and the most sacred of all human relationships. First, the fact that it was/is the first relationship God created gives it unique and unparalleled importance – intimacy and sacredness beyond all other relationships. Secondly, the fact that it is the only relationship He created to last for the duration of the lives of the man and woman united in this bond of covenant love gives it additional unparalleled importance. A third and eternally most significant element is the fact that human marriage, in the economy of God’s plan of human history, was/is His blessing of His favor to man (Proverbs 18: 22) that pictures the forthcoming glorious marriage of Christ to His holy bride — the church, the redeemed of the Lord — that holy bride promised by God the Father to His beloved Holy Son before time began, as testified to in Titus 1:1-2; II Timothy 1:8-9; Revelation 19:7-9. It is this relationship that gives every Christian man a daily opportunity, in faithful stewardship of God having entrusted to him his wife, to show his wife and the watching world the love of Christ by loving her with that precious love Christ revealed in Philippians 2:3.
Now we come to God’s second most important level of human relationship — the family, created by God via the covenant love of marriage which constitutes the basis of the remaining three. From the first chapter of Genesis scripture gives us God’s order for the family.
Genesis 1:27-28a: “27And God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female created He them. 28And God blessed them: and God said to them, “Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it;”
Here in the very first chapter of His revelation of Himself and His holy plan for the securing of a sinless bride for His Holy Son, God created the family by way of His command to be fruitful, multiply, and replenish the earth. In the eleventh chapter of Deuteronomy Moses gives Godly instructions to the men (husbands, fathers, and grandfathers) of Israel concerning the way to go about establishing Godly families and homes. In verses 18-21 Moses, inspired by the faithful Holy Spirit, lays out what I choose to call God’s blueprint for a Godly, Christian family and home. Beginning in verse 18 and continuing through verse 20 there are three clearly revealed principles that constitute God’s way and will. The first principle is the command of God to each individual man to be hiding or impressing His Holy word on his heart — meaning to righteously inform his mind with God’s word that he might live out a daily life of personal holiness before his wife and children. The second principle is the command to be teaching it to his family — his wife and his children, the beginning point of which is the daily testimony of his own diligent faithful pursuit of righteousness. If a Christian man truly desires to be a spiritually effective, loving faithful steward of the lives God has entrusted to him in the persons of his wife and children – his family – he must, must recognize and practically embrace (meaning “do it, don’t just promise it – Proverbs 20:6) the fact that he will not, in fact, cannot do so apart from a continuous, unwavering commitment of his time being daily invested in the unselfish, loving, affectionate attention to their instruction, training, discipline and well being. Based on almost fifty years (49) as an educator and Biblical counselor, having spent many hours with dads and moms and children and young people in a wide variety of life situations, this one factor of time, deliberately, intentionally, continuously, and with obvious personal interest in each individual member of ones family is in many cases a nonexistent entity in the construct of the particular family and home. I have come to believe that next to a personal, faithful daily study of the word of God by every Christian husband and dad, this failure to recognize or prioritize rightly the investment of his time in the lives of his wife and children is the single most important factor in the development of a truly Christian, God-pleasing family and home. Solomon, under the faithful, immutable inspiration of the Holy Spirit (II Peter 1:17-21), in two brief verses in Proverbs 24:3-4, creates a word picture, not only of the wonder and goodness and blessedness of the will of God for every Christian home, but what ingredients are absolutely necessary for the establishing and maintaining of such a home:
Proverbs 24: 3-4: “3 By wisdom a house is built, And by understanding it is established; 4 And by knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches.”
Consider for a moment if you will, the simple, clear, yet profound, eternal significance of these two verses. In Proverbs 2, after thirty-eight verses (1:1 – 2:5) on wisdom and the significance of acquiring it, Solomon, in verse 6, reveals, not only the source of wisdom, knowledge, and understanding, each in its God ordained prioritized order, but also the purpose of each of these ingredients necessary for a life lived righteously. First, the LORD gives wisdom; then comes knowledge, and then comes understanding. Be sure dear reader, that you understand the significance of this order. Wisdom, in this context, is a reference to the truth of God’s word; knowledge refers to the necessity of acquiring God’s truth via the diligent study of His word; and lastly, understanding speaks to the necessity of rightly comprehending, understanding if you will, and practically applying God’s truth in daily living.
Now, keeping in mind the prioritized order of Proverbs 2:6, return with me to our two verses in Proverbs 24. “By wisdom a house is built, And by understanding it is established; And by knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches.” For whatever reason, Solomon departed here from the prioritized order of 2:6, but without losing the import of that God ordained order. In other words, the embracing of God’s uncreated, always existent truth – wisdom – is the beginning point in the building of such a “house”. The Hebrew word translated “house” refers to “a building in which a family lives; a family dwelling”. Clearly, the writer is identifying the ingredients necessary for the establishing and ongoing development of a God honoring home — “family” is about a home, not just the structure (house) within which it exists. The next ingredient necessary, in Solomon’s list of instructions, is understanding – that right comprehension of God’s truth that, of necessity, must be accompanied by the discernment to know how to practically apply the truth in day to day living in the home. It is this understanding that causes such a home to be “established”. The word “established” is a particularly interesting and meaningful word here in the context of these two verses. The root meaning of the word is “to be erect” as in standing erect. If it was used for no other meaning but this it gives a vivid picture of the uprightness and integrity of a home such as the one described in our text – Proverbs 24:4-3 – a home being confidently and faithfully built on the firm foundation of God’s holy word. However, this word “established” is used in numerous other passages wherein we gain greater insight into the fullness of its meaning in the development of such a home as this one in our text. Just to mention a few — to be “established” is “to be certain; to be confirmed; definite; to be fashioned; firm; ordered; prepared; ready; reliable; right; steadfast” — the word picture here is undeniably clear — a home built on an accurate, practical application and practice of the truth and principles of God’s holy word is a home that will be rightly fashioned; soundly ordered; reliable and steadfast. Solomon now calls attention to the necessity of knowledge, that ingredient, you will recall, that he listed second in Proverbs 2:6. Knowledge is the acquisition of God’s truth resulting from a consistent, diligent, regular meditative study and embracing of His holy word that you might more fully know Him and His will for your life in His glorious kingdom service. The picture is of a house where every room is “filled” with beautiful, rare, costly, abundantly sufficient, delightful treasures of joyful, peaceful, harmonious, unselfish loving devotion and service to those who dwell therein — indeed, the development of such a home is the will and command of God to every Christian man who marries a wife thus establishing a home (rethink this last statement).
God’s will hasn’t changed — the years of time have progressed from that time to this — but our Father’s will to be about building a Christian family is immutable; it has not and will not change and starts with a husband and father who is living in daily, faithful obedience to the command of God thru Moses in Deuteronomy 11:18-21 and Christ in Matthew 6:33-34.